IP Funny -- Intellectual Property Humor

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Leash with sound

A novelty item for creating the illusion of an imaginary pet including a hollow, elongated leash with a handle at one end and a collar and harness adjacent the other end. Housed within the handle, which is hollow, is a battery power source and an integrated circuit for producing a plurality of animal sounds. Also carried by the handle are an on/off switch and at least one selector switch for the sound circuitry. Mounted within the collar end of the leash is a micro speaker which is connected by wiring through the hollow leash to the circuitry in the handle.

Patent No: 5,509,859

FORE!!!!!

“The killer applications of golfrisbee are comprised of the golh club, golfrisbee disc and golfrisbee basket, golfrisbee target, golfishing, grenade, water golh gun club, etc.” [sic]

When he says “Fore!” he means “incoming…..”

US Pub. 20050282665–Killer applications of golh, golfishing, golfrisbee, golfball, basedisc, golfrisbee basket

[via a reader…thanks!]

Beam me up Scotty!

Here's an inventor who thinks he can create a wormhole and transport objects through it. Whoa!

US Published Application No.: 20060071122

[Via]

Never lose your wristwatch again

USPN 5,638,832 — Programmable Subcutaneous Visible Implant

Just what I want…surgery to implant a watch in my arm.  Joy!

Notice how the draftsman goofed?  Shouldn’t the display on the clock be upside down (or the thumb on the other side of the hand) so the wearer could read it right side up?  Of course, at least this way you can see what time it is before the inventor backhands you across the face for mocking his invention.

Dean Kamen drinks his own pee

Seriously.  He really does.  Of course his latest invention filters it first.

IP Funny, and he drinks it.

Can you file a patent application covering coined terms? Apparenly so.

US20040249626 :  Method for modifying English language compositions to remove and replace objectionable sexist word forms.

Apparently, this patent application would cover use of "one-size-fits-all" gender terms like HIR and WAN.

Shirley you must be kidding.

Shark shocking wet suit

Via Boing Boing, link to a patent pending shocking wet suit intended to fend off shark attacks.

Of course, I'd worry about whether in case of malfunction the shark would let you cook for a while before eating you.  Mmm....BBQ.

Kid power

PHOSITA has an interesting post today (same story linked to at BoingBoing) about using kids on merry-go-rounds to pump water.

I’ve always liked this patent:

USPN 4,455,816.

Gives new meaning to the term “ankle biters.”

Nerd Golfers

See, nerds play sports too:  RFID golf balls (so you can find your balls if you lose them in the brush...if you know what I mean).  [Via IPNewsBlog]