When I first saw Fig. 1, I thought the invention might be a sexual armor you wear when playing basketball (ergo the sharp looking basketball uniform the model is wearing). Hey, it can get kind of tough fighting for those rebounds.
Apparently, a closer scan of the text of the patent reveals that it isn't to protect you from other people, but from yourself:
It is a deplorable but well known fact that one of the most common causes of insanity, imbecility and feeble mindedness, especially in youth is due to masterbation or self abuse. This is equally true of both sexes.
Wow. Life 100 years ago must have been rough. Today it just makes you go blind.
ROTFL
Posted by: Randy Charles Morin | April 11, 2006 at 01:42 PM
The guy has a wierd hair cut too. Heaps on the front and bald at the back. Maybe your hair falls out at the back if you masturbate.
What a fantastic patent.
Posted by: not my real name | April 12, 2006 at 02:05 AM