IP Funny -- Intellectual Property Humor

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All future posts will show up there.

www.wtfpatents.com  (What the Funny...Patents)

Blue Patents

Depending on where you work, consider this a NSFW (Not Safe For Work) Warning....

I stumbled on a new patent blog the other day: www.x-ratedpatents.com. Chock full of "Patents I'm thankful I didn't write."

Celeb patents..

Ironic Sans blog on "Celebrity Patents."

Patenting a Stick with a Bag on the End of it

USPN 7,090,268

[Via:  TechDirt —Nice Patent... For Me to Poop On!]

Jumprope without the rope

Via MSNBC:  Cordless jump-roping: exercise for the clumsy

See also:  Patently Silly: Cordless Jump Rope

US Patent No. 7,037,243

Manty Liners?

Ornamental design for a human gas filter pad for wearing in the underwear, as shown.

U.S. Patent No. D398,994

Man catching tank

The invention is “a man-catching tank … for use in banks for catching and holding burglars or the like.”  The invention is a “portable motor-driven armored tank or watch-box for the watchman, this box being equipped with peep-holes, gun-openings and other coveniences, and having on its exterior novel means for grabbing and holding the thief until assistance arrives.”

USPN 1,392,095

 

Sexual armor

When I first saw Fig. 1, I thought the invention might be a sexual armor you wear when playing basketball (ergo the sharp looking basketball uniform the model is wearing). Hey, it can get kind of tough fighting for those rebounds.

Apparently, a closer scan of the text of the patent reveals that it isn't to protect you from other people, but from yourself:

It is a deplorable but well known fact that one of the most common causes of insanity, imbecility and feeble mindedness, especially in youth is due to masterbation or self abuse. This is equally true of both sexes.

Wow. Life 100 years ago must have been rough. Today it just makes you go blind.

USPN 875,845.

Subliminal Messages

Does including a subliminal message in a patent drawing increase the chances you’ll obtain an allowed patent?

USPN 6,045,281

Jet Powered Surfboard

Whoa dude!  Surfs up, way up!

Jet Powered Surfboard, USPN D289031